A one-at, hour-long play devoted to dramatically demonstrating how many children under five years of age perish miserably of starvation would take, lemme see, how many dead babies? One every two seconds. That’s thirty every minute. Anybody know where I can get eighteen-hundred dead babies cheap?
According to the law of supply and demand, they shouldn’t cost very much.
Write PERMANENT UNIVERSAL RENT STRIKE on every wall of every Third World ghetto in the world.
In addition to the dead babies, two-hundred dead adults are produced somewhere in the world every hour. I thought I would leave them out of the script, though. Although individually they probably wouldn’t weigh much, freight rates on eighteen-hundred dead babies are going to be steep enough.
My liberal friends say the problem is not production, but distribution. Enough dead babies are being produced, but seeing that everyone gets the amount they need is a problem capitalism hasn’t solved.
Write PERMANENT UNIVERSAL RENT STRIKE on the back of every letter you send.
My conservative friends say the problem is overpopulation. There are just too many of us and not enough dead babies to go around.
I say the problem is Third World absentee landlordism. Translate PERMANENT UNIVERSAL RENT STRIKE into every language. Overpopulation is just too many landlords: There is enough fertile land in the world to support everyone. Since the success of the Marshall Plan mass starvation has been confined to races Nazis deem inferior. Overpopulation is too many First World landlords with investments in the Third World!
Write PERMANENT UNIVERSAL RENT STRIKE on the moon. –Kerry Wendell Thornley, “Funnier Than a Truckload of Dead Babies: A Review of Our Most Extravagant Form of Entertainment”
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